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A Load of Bull
A survey of city schoolchildren found that some teenagers believed that potatoes grew on trees. And one respondent thought that bananas grew in this republic. This last mistake is more easily understood. The belief that this is an ideal island for the production of yellow monkey food is a common error that has nothing to do with the growing urban/rural divide
Endless sex
Many believed that each cow had a bull all to themselves and lived in that state of monogamous harmony so beloved of humans. Despite the decline in morality amongst our young citizens, many of them were visibly shocked to learn of the dozens of relationships that a normal bull could have in a year. They were startled to hear that the most decadent macho Hollywood star wouldn't be a match even for an average looking Limousin bull. The bells of morality that toll in the nearby village church do not toll for the local bull. The lucky Limousin answers to neither church nor state for his actions.
No hell
What's more, theologians tell us that the bull won't be required to pay for his sins in hell. Humans can take no solace in assuming there will be some terrible day of reckoning when the bull will be sent down into the flames while the boringly blameless will be given wings. Classed as a beast, the bull is completely free to behave as one.
Without need of money or mortgage the bull can avoid the clutches of the swivel-chaired suits in their solemn financial institutions. He couldn't care less when the government taxes the poor and give grants to the rich. The fact that a chairman of an Irish company can pocket over 500 Euro an hour while thousands work for less than five is not something that bothers a bull. The bull realises that there is a strange kind of freedom in having no money at all.
No mortgage
The lucky bull doesn't have to a give a tinkers curse what rate of mortgage interest the pot bellied board of the European Bank decide young Irish couples should pay.
Although the bull is often on the agenda in Brussels he himself never heard of the place. If he could sing it would probably be a Kris Kristofferson song- the one with the chorus that goes 'freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose.'
No banana
The bull hasn't read the survey showing that some urban children believe they are living in a banana-growing republic. Confined to fields of grass he'll live his entire life without ever seeing a banana. Looking over the fence at humans, the lucky Limousin may consider a life without bananas a small price to pay for his carefree lifestyle.
Gillian Westbrook has been appointed to the new position of
General Manager with IOFGA. Coming from a background in the regulatory area...
